Dear blog,
I guess I have to understand that sometimes not every crush, admiration or love has to have a happy ending, or even an ending at all. I have to understand that maybe sometimes its better to be just friends, good friends or even best friends. I have to understand that sometimes its better to have a long term close friendship than a short term joy of being together. I've been contemplating whether to say out how I feel, be it now or in the past. But maybe sometimes some things are best left unsaid. I know that if I say it out there's no point since that small time attraction to someone might ruin a potential long lasting friendship. And I know that even if we get together, we probably might won't last long so what for spoil everything.
So for now I'm going back again to do what I've been doing all along. Waiting for that day.
One day.
Ben.
Dear blog,
I don't feel good and I'm really really tired. The heavy downpour on the way back made me want to just drop the umbrella, stand there and get drenched completely in the rain.
Even though I'm an adult already but sometimes I wish I was still a kid and someone will just come pamper me and tell me "I know how you're feeling, don't worry everything will be alright at the end of the day".
Pray and hope that it will be.
Ben.
Dear blog,
Today the 9th of November marks a year since I enlisted.
A blink of an eye and its been a year already. I met up with some friends recently who are going in soon and shared alot of my experiences with them. After talking to them I was quite amazed myself by how much I've went through during this one year. And if you tell me a year ago that I would be doing what I'm doing right now I wouldn't have believe it at all.
Another meaningful thing that today also marks is the end of my last guard commander cycle. The 7th and final cycle wasn't as smooth sailing as I wanted it to be, but still it was fairly alright. A little trouble with a few men which I hope it doesn't continue anymore cause we still got to work together.
I still can't believe this time last year I just went in tekong and the life I was leading inside. Anyways will be meeting my BMT section mates who I went through hell together soon. I wonder how they're doing in their respective units and how's army treating them. Most importantly, cant wait to catch up, think back and talk about the "good" old days.
Ben.