Friday, May 30, 2008 11:33 PM;
Yesterday was a great day.
I shall post up pictures of the camp and yesterday soon.
Yesterday was a great day. (:
Tuesday, May 27, 2008 11:59 PM;
I got simply too much to say.
So POC is finally over. All our 3 long months of hard work boiled down to this 3 days camp. Even thought there were quite alot of hiccups here and there but i guess overall the camp was a success. And i heard that many of the freshies found our camp much funner compared to the other camps. Ok at least now i know that all our hard work put in was worth it.
I won't say this is a very fun camp to me because throughout the whole camp i was too busy to have any fun. I have to ensure everything goes well at all times. But i will say this, that POC was definitely a great experience. Even though my mind was completely filled with stuffs throughout the whole camp but i still enjoyed every single minute of it.
I still remember during last year's POC, Kay and i thought that maybe we'll have the chance of being the gls at the next POC. But who knows we got even further then that. With him being the deputy program in charge and me the deputy camp commander. Which was kinda weird because both of us used to be one of those freshies siting down there.
And after this experience, i finally understand what's family really like. Not the usual dad and mom family but a group of friends that's so close like a family. In Primers we're really all just one big family.
And nothing more then that..
Thursday, May 22, 2008 11:59 PM;
I finally got her appreciation letter last night. Even though i told her she might as well keep the letter for herself since she forgot to pass it to me a few times, but inside of me i want it the other way. Somehow i knew something will definitely happen after i read the letter but i still read it. And i was right.
So POC is less then 24 hours away. I wonder how will it go, how will it end up. After all we spent 3 months to plan for this 3 days camp. And besides, its a first time for many of us organising such a big event. Tomorrow is the day where i'm going to experience "growing up". And one week from now, it'll be time for me to start taking my life more seriously.
I only got myself to blame for how i'm feeling right now. I knew it was a deep hole since the beginning but i still decided to take a step forward. Its funny how i always ended up this way and i'll try to run away from the problem again.
Wednesday, May 21, 2008 10:26 PM;
Sunday, May 18, 2008 12:19 AM;
As much as i enjoy each and every time spent with her, i really really must remember this. There's still someone who has her in his heart. And i believe that he is in her's also. Even though their status now is not of a normal relationship, but still.
Right now i really feel like distancing myself. Like how i did about a year ago to a potentially great friendship, which i regretted, very much. The old me would just cut off all ties to avoid the problem. But i won't do it anymore. Because i know running away from the problem is no use. Sad to say i only realise this now.
Sometimes i feel that i'm really dumb. I always do things when i know that its wrong. Its like i know there's a deep hole right in front of me but i still decide to take a step forward. And the funny thing is, this time however i have choices. Quite a few actually. So i guess i'll just take one step at a time and see how it goes.
Sunday, May 4, 2008 9:59 PM;
I had a great time last night. We didn't did anything special but for the whole 2 hours we just, talk. I think its really enjoyable talking to someone who understands u. And shares her experiences with u while u share yours with her.
We talked about alot alot of stuffs. Relationships, her sis, adulthood, and her perception of me. And also of course, God's plan for us. Haha. It was particularly interesting when she told me about her past relationships and also her current one. I feel honored that she told me what she and Guojun are going through now. I kinda understand why she didn't told anyone in Primers. I think i'm the only one who knows about this other then the both of them.
And it turns out we're really alike in many ways. Which i guess its a good thing? Maybe except that we both prefer to be the one being taken care of. Be it in a relationship or for other matters. And we both believe everything happens for a reason.
I told her about what am i thinking through lately. That i'm still not ready yet and stuff. And i felt better after she told me what she thought. I really hope we'll be able to do more of this. (:
I think this is one of the most enjoyable moment of my life.
Thursday, May 1, 2008 11:59 PM;
A few months ago, i started thinking about something. Something i can't describe how important is it.
What am i going to do about my life now?
Few of my friends' 18th birthday have past made me realised that time waits for no men. Being 18 means that u're almost an adult already. And being an adult means no more fun and games but serious stuffs. Also during this time of planning POC made me realised i still, is, am not ready yet for bigger things. Planning camp isn't easy at all, seriously. I still remember when i went for the very first meeting with Huishan and Paul, i knew it was going to be tough. And now when the camp is in a month's time i realised this,
THIS IS SERIOUS SHIT. (thought i should emphasize on this)
Looking back at 17 years of my life i realised i have never taken much of the the things i do very seriously. I have to admit, i still act like a kid most of the time. And i prefer being taken care of then me being the one taking care of other people. I guess that explains why i'm attracted to older girls? Maybe i need someone who is matured and stuff since i'm the complete opposite.
But all that is going to change. I'm going to take things more seriously now and not fool around.
Start thinking what i'm going to do in the future. (very important) Since after all i'm going to be an adult soon. And i know i can't just change like that overnight. But then again, i got a month's time.
Its funny how when u are attracted to someone and she doesn't gives u her full attention and when someone u are not really into keeps trying to get your full attention.